19. In Conclusion

Every story needs a conclusion.

Mine has none, for now, thankfully.

Until the day God calls me home for real, depression will be a ghost that will haunt my feet, waiting to pounce, not unlike Satan himself. But that description, while scary and negative, doesn’t take into consideration the power of God, the very source of light and truth Himself. Depression can be easily misunderstood as simply a spiritual attack as it shares so many characteristics with a spiritual attack:

  1. Half truths, disguised as truth
  2. Attacking self worth and self confidence
  3. Insidious nature of the disease
  4. Will never really go away once it’s struck
  5. Requires constant watching

Even as we mustn’t mistake depression for a spiritual attack, the greatest hope I have is in our Lord Jesus Christ, who knows me, and my God who created my very bones in the womb of my earthly mother. He is the one who has saved my life this time, and has surrounded me with so much love that I feel cocooned in safety.

Many others do not have this privilege and joy. At times, I do feel like weeping for them, and I pray for their relief as well, and salvation. But my journey doesn’t end here, much as I don’t know where I’m headed now. My job may no longer be for me, or perhaps I may have to stick to my job no matter what. I do not know. The uncertainty is sometimes paralysing, and I then have to remind myself of hope once again.

So I soldier on, with the love of all my friends and family, and the love of my Lord. There may be no clear reason, but God has shown that He has a reason to keep me alive.

These words are one clear reason. I hope you are blessed by them.

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